Songs of the Season

As most who know me could tell you, I love music. Music moves me like nothing else, and I am always singing to myself whether it's out loud or just in my head. In all the silent hours of this training season that I have had to myself, I have found that music always keeps me company and keeps me moving. Here are a few songs that always make their way into my head's rotation:

When I swim, I always think of a Raffi song that I learned as a child called "Baby Beluga." The song's full lyrics escape me, and I find myself repeating the same lines over and over.



"Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above, and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.

Oh Baby Beluga, Baby Beluga, oh Baby Beluga"

Never fail, each time I swim, my head plays this song. There's something organic about the song that brings me back to my love of the ocean. I envision that baby whale gliding through the ocean's waters without a care in the world, feeling alive and happy just to be. For a moment, I am envious of that whale, and my heart longs to feel as carefree and at home in those wild waters as the baby beluga does.

On the bike, I often think of another song from my childhood. This one being, "Coming Round the Mountain."

"She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes, (when she comes).
She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes, (when she comes).
She'll be coming 'round the mountain, she'll be coming 'round the mountain,
She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes, (when she comes)."



When I was about eight years old, I had an almost life-sized doll named "Cricket" that had a tape deck in her back and moved her mouth to the music she played. This was by far the coolest toy I ever owned as a child! She came with me everywhere, and one of my favorite stories she told was the one including the "Coming Round the Mountain" song. So, now, when I'm peddalling hard, all I can think is "She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes..."

The song never speaks of when she actually gets there, it simply tells of how "she is coming." This is me, on all those rides that I thought would never end, where the only thought I clung to was to just keep going. The moving forward is the experience, and arrival is the end. Naturally, then, "she" is always "coming" and never "there."

Running is home to me. I began this journey as a runner, and nothing makes me more at ease than running. It's almost like meditation and is where I do some of my best thinking. For those reasons, it's no suprise that the most often song that comes into my head while running is "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson.



"I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favorite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs

A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere To Go
That's Why I Want You To Know

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change

I've Been A Victim Of
A Selfish Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No Home,
Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With Me

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change"

The song epitomizes how I feel about so many things and in so many ways. There is so much in the world that could be better and needs change. The only thing within your control is yourself; therefore, the best place to start is with you.

Who knows all that will go through my head on my fourteen hour race day, but you can bet your bottom dollar that these three tracks will be there at some point, feeling like familiar friends who have been with me all along.

The Three Questions

This morning I went for a run down by the canal towpath in Georgetown. The canal is one of my favorite areas to run in for many reasons. It's flat, made up of dirt and gravel, and surrounded by trees. Travelers can always find some shade, and even on the hottest days, its proximity to the Potomac makes it a few degrees cooler than the rest of the city. In fact, the whole scene can be quite enchanting. There are animals of all kind, and as the path winds, you feel like you’re running through the woods on a forgotten path to nowhere.

Today I saw a turtle resting against the bank of the path, with only his head poking out of the water. And, I couldn't help but imagine the little guy coming up to look around and just taking it easy. He reminded me of a book I read last night to L (the three year old I babysit) called "The Three Questions." It's based on the short story by Leo Tolstoy and features a boy asking "What is the best time do things?" "Who is the most important one?" and "What is the right thing to do?" The boy comes to learn from a wise, old turtle that the most important time is now, the most important one is the one you are with, and the most important thing is to do good to the person you are with.

I really enjoyed my run and felt strong the whole way. I began to wonder about the many ways we take care of the one we are with and also how often we forget to do that exact thing. In every circumstance in life, there is always another that we are “with.” And I’d have to agree with Tolstoy that taking care of that one is the most important thing. Not necessarily because we love that person or even know that person but simply because he or she shares in our humanity.

One of my favorite quotes has always been the following by John Wesley:
Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all times you can,
To all people you can,
As long as you ever can.

This is our calling. But it is up to each of us to discover our own destinies in fulfilling this calling. It is amazing to me to think that an Ironman is part of my life path, and I am awestruck with this realization every time it hits me. The most important time is now. And I have so many incredible people "with" me on this journey that I can only hope I am doing my part to take care of them along the way. I certianly could not do this alone and am deeply grateful to those who continue to take care of me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

The journey continues

Yesterday I printed John Wooden's Pyramid of Success from the Internet (http://www.erhoops.org/pdfs/John%20Woodens%20pyramid%20of%20success.pdf) and pinned it to my bulletin board at work. Wooden's famous pyramid is the product of 14 years of work towards perfecting his ideals on what "success" is and how to obtain it. His cornerstones feature "Industriousness," explaining "there is no substitute for work. Worthwhile things come from hard work and careful planning;" and "Enthusiasm," saying "Your heart must be in your work. Stimulate others."

My dad is one of the smartest and most humble people I've ever met, and for years, he has had this same Pyramid of Success hanging in his office. This shows me one key thing: the Pyramid works. If your heart is in it, you show up, you work hard, and you keep at it, you will be successful. My dad is the greatest example of this in that he makes it his business to do everything he does "the right way," and he has achieved greater success than he probably ever dreamed. I can't imagine that he has ever laid around, looking to the sky, questioning his lot and asking for favor. Instead, he has always set goals for himself--high but within reach--and worked steadily towards them with the persistence of the best endurance athletes out there.

What I am learning more and more each day is that Ironman training isn't that much different than the life training we naturally get as we walk the Earth. There are times when the course is flat and smooth, others when it's rolling, and still others that test the very extremes of what are made of. The journey is long, and often times, there is no end in sight.

The components in Wooden's Pyramid are ones that will lead to success in physical contests and also in life. My dad has shown me one life's picture of "success" and what one man can shape himself into when he only cares to do so. So much of my Ironman training is cathartic and fills an emptiness that has developed in other areas of my life. I believe that the skills, confidence, and success I have gained through my training are transferable to other parts of my life. Like the muscle memory that my body has developed over hours and hours of physical training, the awareness of strength is becoming ingrained in my mind. And my heart and soul are beginning to see what I am made of.

Racing for a Cause

The first 5K I did as an adult was The Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. I signed up for many reasons, but the main reason was to honor my grandmother who was a survivor of breast cancer. I remembered her struggle and strength. The RFTC was a great way to take action and feel like I was doing my part to combat the disease that afflicted my grandmother.

Years later, again I decided to embark on a journey in honor of this cause and signed up for Komen's Breast Cancer 3 Day. A three day walk of a total 60 miles, this journey would not prove to be easy. However, I was empowered by the feeling that I was doing something to fight the horrible disease of breast cancer. The spirit of the walkers and crew was amazing! It was if in we were in a bubble within the world where people were united and we really did treat our neighbors as ourselves.

Thinking of what got me started in racing, I decided a few weeks ago that the Ironman experience would be so much more meaningful if I did for a cause. Being an attorney who is devoted to child welfare issues, choosing my charity was easy. The Children's Law Center in Washington, DC, is THE source when it comes to advocating for children in the District. The CLC employs attorneys and staff with the simple but noble goal of protecting DC's children. I have followed the CLC since I was in my first year of law school and cannot think of a greater place to raise funds and awareness for. I am really, really excited to part of their team for now!

Watch for fundraising events and follow my progress at www.mktris.webs.com. Also, you can make a donation by going to
http://www.januscharitychallenge.org and clicking on "How to Donate."

Thank you for all your support!!!

The Impetus

I spend my weekends at a shoe store. Well, we sell shoes, but it's not just any shoe store. It is one where dreams literally do come true. People walk into that store in every shade of life you can find. Young, old, fast, slow. Most are somewhere in the middle and just trying to be healthy. Many people come simply to replace their old shoes, the ones they've loved for miles but are ready to retire. Others come because they have received a prescription from their doctor saying, "go to them, they will help." Still others wander in just because it's there. We welcome all and take all. Whatever the need, the store usually has something to provide.

When I found my way to this store about a year and a half ago, I was down. I mean really down. Unemployed, overeducated, and with little "career" prospects headed my way, I had gone to the classifieds to find seasonal work. Thankfully, they took a chance on me and I on them.

It was in this store where I learned some of life's most important lessons. Lessons about hard work, determination, and finding a way to sometimes just let it be. It became more than a job to me, it was a community, a network, and a family. Some of the best people to walk the Earth can often be found within that store.

Getting this job at this running store was one of the best things to ever happen to me. It was a situation that I never wanted. I wanted to be a lawyer, using my degrees, and out in the "real" world. But, in the end, being there did more to shape me into who I am than many other "professional" experiences I have had.

It really is funny the way life works. Did I move from to Washington, DC, to work at a shoe store? Nope. But, would I have if I had known then what I do now? In a heart beat. Unfortunately, it took me a year of being in DC to stumble onto this place. Only in this space and time, did I really dare to open the doors to myself. And only under these circumstances did I decide to push myself to the physical limit and dream of the Ironman.

If not for this store, would I have set out on this journey I am on? Probably not. But, like I said, this store is a place where dreams come true.

Week 18

April 19, 2010

Today is the first day of week 18 of our 36 week training plan. By this time next week, we will be half way there. Do I feel half way there? No. Am I telling myself that I am? Yes.


This weekend was a turning point for me. There was a moment where I really knew within my heart of hearts that my goal is one I can obtain. It was on a five mile run that completed my four hour brick. A brick is when you do two disciplines in a row; so swim, then bike; bike, then run; etc.

On the run, I had a moment where I felt in my bones that I would finish this race. It was going to be rough, long, and the hardest thing I've ever done. But, for a moment, I believed I would finish.

Hopefully, the belief made a connection in my brain and the seed only grows stronger as time goes on. Either way, in 18 weeks, I'll set out on my 17 hour race that I've spent thousands of hours working towards.

Back in the Game

Sunday was the first time I have run more than five miles since the day of my worst decision ever. Almost six months ago, I did a marathon. I had an amzing time in the destination city, I had an amzing race, and I was so happy to finally run a marathon. So happy, in fact, that I figured why not do another one a couple weeks later?

A bib came across my lap, and I simply could not resist. I went into the Marine Corps Marathon thinking, "You can do this, you just did one, don't push yourself, but get to the finish line." After the first mile, my knees felt as if I'd already done ten. Mile eight and a sharp downhill forced my knees to buckle under pressure they weren't ready to bear. It was just too soon. I knew right then that it was going to be a looong day. Four and a half hours later, I crossed the finish line.

Doing that race was one of the worst decisions I've ever made, and one that I am still regretting to this day. My eyes were bigger than my body. All the racing I had done that year led me to believe I was up for back to back 26.2 milers. That day was a humbling one. I spent the better part of five hours debating whether it was better to quit and save my body the beating I was giving it or to finish despite the pain and adversity. Unfortunately, my sticktoitveness prevailed on that day.

The following weeks, then months, were spent hobbling, icing, stretching, medicating, and phsyical therapying. This was the first time in my life where I could not do what I wanted to do because of an injury. I never realized the frustration and fear that comes with injury. As someone who lives by making plans and setting goals, it drove me crazy to have no idea when these injuries would recover.

Since extra time in the pool never hurts, I spent my days doing what I could, minimizing my impact, and working with what I had, so to speak. About a month ago, I put on my running shoes again for the first time since race day, I laced them up and set out. My legs were strong, but my tendons tender. The conversation kept me going, and in the end, I did the whole five miles. One of the happiest days of my life! Knowing things would be ok was huge.

So over the next four weeks, I would run or run/walk up to an hour but never go near the ten miles that I would face at Cherry Blossom. Ten miles for average Joe Shmoe is hard, but ten miles for the former me was a breeze. So I wondered, where on the spectrum would I fall? I hardly slept the night before, worried that I might not even be able to go the distance. Race day came, the weather was amazing (even though the cherry blossoms had long since peaked and withered), and I was excited about being back at the starting line.

An hour and forty-three minutes later, I crossed the finish line, screaming and pumping my fist the whole way! Another best day.